Peace

by Heather Tricola

Peace.  I am on a quest for peace. I am striving for peace (yes, I realize how that sounds). I even got the tattoo.  But I am not always sure what peace looks like or feels like.

This year, I spent a lot of time avoiding conflict, trying to stop conflict in its tracks, or hibernating alone.  I found myself saying things like, “I can’t handle this, I’m done talking about it.”  When I felt my emotions rising, I wanted to make them stop.  I desperately wanted to find my peace, my calm.  In avoidance, though, I usually found frustration and despair lurking in my disconnection.

So instead, I have decided it’s worth it.  It’s worth it to engage, to entangle my emotions with those around me, to hold hands and move through life together.  Sometimes that will make me weaker, less stable.  Yet I know I am ultimately strong and resilient.  And I can handle the messy work of relationship.  

As our country and the world seems to boil in turmoil and conflict, I have two resolutions:  ask lots of questions, and listen well.  People long to be heard, to be known. Maybe then we can get to the heart of our conflicts, to understand the feelings and needs behind them, to find solutions together.